Training had proved to be easier than Lee had expected.  Turned out the Nuggets had been nearing the end of their training course in any case. 

Lee decided to head to Joe’s to join the Nuggets in their graduation celebration.  He had slowly begun easing himself back into the real world again.  It still pained him at times.  There were always reminders of Kara…..a smell, a laugh, a word, whatever.  But he felt that he couldn’t miss out in congratulating the class.  They’d worked too hard and dealt with too much to just blow them off. 

As Lee walked into Joe’s, he saw someone he hadn’t seen that much of over the last week.  And yet, his heart fluttered a bit of the reminder of their last encounter and how she smelled.

”Hello Ensign Barnes.  Here to celebrate with your former classmates?”

”Sir….”she seemed startled, ”Yes sir.  But I promise I won’t let it effect my flying sir.”  She couldn’t believe how nervous she had become with his arrival.  Yet, it was hard to get his words out of her head….”Now don’t disappoint me”.  She never forgot that. 

Lee couldn’t help but laugh.  “I’m sure it won’t.  And please, we’re here to celebrate, now let’s drop the formalities; call me Lee.”  He was a little shocked that he was so informal with her, but the slight smile that crept across her face knocked any further thoughts out of his head. 

”Yes si….thank you Lee!” 

 Everyone was having a great time.  It was a pleasant surprise to see their C.A.G. finally smile and occasionally chuckle. The party continued on much longer than anyone had realized, including Lee who was to go back to his CAG duties the next morning. 

”Alright Nuggets! Time to hit the racks.  See you tomorrow at 0800.”  It was a good- natured suggestion but the nuggets recognized the order nestled within it and obeyed. Waiting for the last of the nuggets to leave, Lee stood and headed back to his own quarters. 

”Sir” he heard from behind him.  He turned to see Ensign Barnes running down the corridor.  “Sir wait, please.  I wanted to thank you again for having faith in me and helping me get back on the right track.  You have no idea what it means to me.”

”First of all…what did I say about using formalities tonight Ensi….I just realized I don’t know your first name,” Lee teased. 

”It’s Tessa.”  She smiled.

”Okay…Tessa it is.  Now go get some rest.  Things will be a bit different for you starting tomorrow. “

”Yeah..you’re right.  Heard the CAG is coming back tomorrow.  Don’t want to upset him.  Rumor is he can be really tough on his pilots.” She giggled as she turned and proceeded on to her quarters. 

”You have no idea how rough he can get.” Lee replied.  He couldn’t believe how relaxed he was with Tessa and the teasing going on between them.  Maybe it was the ambrosia, but for the first time in a while, he forgot about the loss in his life.  Especially as he thought about the person so full of life that had been before him. 

As she was turning the corner, she heard Lee exclaim, “By the way…you’re welcome”.  A huge grin spread across her face.  A grin that could’ve powered the fleet all the way to Earth. 

Lee went to his room to try to read over the training records.  But he kept getting distracted.  The first folder on the pile was Ensign Barnes.  He opened it up and read the last entry Kara had written.
”Need to talk to Admiral about activating her flight status immediately.  No longer needs refresher coarse.”
”Refresher coarse?” Thought Lee.  Curiousity overtook him as he started looking through her records.  Then he came across a startling piece of information…”Academy Graduate.”   Lee was surprised to see she had actually attended the Academy.  But why wasn’t she flying?  Why was she with the Nuggets?  He became very bewildered.   Then he started reading Kara’s notes more thoroughly. 
They were all impressive comments.  Which would explain why Kara had wanted her to be activated.  But nothing as to why she wasn’t currently a pilot.  As he sat there reading more and more information, he felt compelled to find out for himself what the situation was.  Not only would it be one less pilot to train, but it would also mean one more pilot in the fleet.  Instead of walking to the Nuggets quarters, he paged Ensign Barnes to meet him in the training room.  The less people he was around, the better for him. 
As she walked in, she noticed Apollo leaning against the table looking at a folder.  She noticed how his body was broad at the shoulders and narrowed at the waist.  Had he decided to take her up on her offer?  Before she could think anymore, the Major looked up. 
What amazingly sad blue eyes he had, she thought to herself.
”Thank you for coming Ensign.  I was looking through your folder and have some questions.” He stated. ”It says here you are trained in both the Viper and Raptor is that correct?”
”Yes sir.” She replied.
”It also says that you rated highly in the training on both.”
”Yes sir.”  
”It also says you’re an Academy Graduate. “
”Yes…..yes sir.”
”So you graduated from the Academy and didn’t have an assignment?  I found that hard to believe. Especially after looking at how well you did at the training.”
A knot rose in her throat.  She wanted to run out of that room and as far away from the ship as she could. 
”I ..I had an assignment sir.”
”Did you get discharged?  You only graduated 2 years ago. “
”No sir.”
”It would really help me if you could explain what happened.  Capt Thrace had made a comment about asking the Admiral to activate your status ASAP.  I would like to have as much information as I could for when I address the Admiral and he asks me questions as to your status prior to training.” 
”I….I can’t talk about it sir.  I …..”
”Why can’t you? “
”It’s a personal matter sir.  That’s all.” 
Lee started to notice the tears in her eyes and the color disappearing from her face.  Whatever the situation was, he felt it was best not to push anymore.  As much pain as he was in, he couldn’t stand knowing he was creating pain in someone else.  He walked over to the Ensign.
”Okay….no more questions.” He said softly.   “I can tell it is a VERY personal matter.  I will do what I can to get your flight status activated.”
The last part surprised Ensign Barnes.  He was still going to try to get her flying?
”Thank you sir.  I appreciate it.”
Lee turned and started walking back to the table.
”Just whatever this personal matter is…I hope it won’t interfere with your flying.  I don’t want to regret taking this to the Admiral on the recommendation of Capt Thrace.”
”It won’t sir.  It won’t.”
”I will inform you of the Admiral’s response tomorrow before training class.  You’re dismissed.”
”Thank you sir.” 

**********************
Lee knocked on the Admiral’s door.
”Enter.” The voice bellowed.  “Ah Lee…I was wanting to talk.  I heard you cancelled training class today.  I’d like to know what your reasoning was with that.  We need these people trained now!” 
”I felt it was in my & the Nuggets best interest if I knew where they were at the training.  I didn’t feel it was fair to them to retrain them on things they already knew or start them on something they weren’t ready for yet.  So, I dismissed the class for the day so I could catch up on their records.”
The Admiral was impressed that Lee had thought so thoroughly about the training.  He was glad to know Lee was taking it seriously. 
”I would like to talk to you about one of the Nuggets and activating her to flight status ready.”  He waited for a response but after a few moments of silence continued on.  “Her name is Ensign Barnes.  Turns out she’s Academy trained.  And ranked highly in her class.  Capt Thrace had put in her records that she wanted to talk to you about this matter….I guess she never got around to it.”  The last part oozed out of Lee’s mouth before he even registered what he was saying. 
”I know about Ensign Barnes.  Kara had mentioned her to me a couple of times.  I believe I had heard her mentioned as a possible candidate for the Galactica after she graduated but she received another assignment instead.  If the rumor mill is true, she never arrived and no one knew where to find her.”
Lee was surprised to hear that the Admiral had heard of her before.  But he was more surprised at hearing the rumor about her not showing up. 
The Admiral continued. “Well, how do you feel about her?  Do you think she’s ready?  Have you even seen her fly yet?”
”No…no I haven’t seen her fly yet.  I assumed since Kara made such a comment and recommendation about her, she must be a good enough pilot to start.  I trust Kara’s opinion.  She’d never misjudge a pilot’s readiness.  Not again.” 
”Well, I’d like your opinion before I give her the go ahead or not.  You are the trainer now…..not Kara.”
Those last words not only stung Lee, but the Admiral himself was shocked to hear them come out of his mouth. 
”I’ll take her out immediately. “ Lee turned and walked out of the room, not waiting to be dismissed.  He didn’t want his father to see the hurt on his face as the reminder of his loss. 
Lee leaned against the bulkhead and took a few breaths before reaching for the intercom.  “Ensign Barnes, please report to hangerdeck 2 for flight prep”.    The last thing Lee wanted was to get into a viper again, but he had no choice.  He headed for his room, changed into his flightsuit, and headed for the hangerdeck. 

It had only been a day since Kara Thrace died.  But the admiral knew he needed not only to keep himself busy but also to keep Major Lee Adama busy.  The admiral knew that Lee would be devastated losing such a close friend.  Besides that, the Galactica still needed more pilots.  And training couldn’t stop just because they lost one of their best pilots.  So, the Admiral called Lee into his office.
” Yes sir.  You wanted to see me”. 
The admiral looked up from his desk.  Lee looked like he had been the one to die…or wished he had. 
”Yes Major.  I asked you here to inform you that you’ll be replacing Ka….Capt. Thrace as the flight instructor effective immediately.”
Lee’s face grew white.  How could his father expect him to take over for Kara.  How could he even expect him to function the day after.  Didn’t he realize what he had lost?  Couldn’t he see the pain he was in?  No….no…he couldn’t.  His father could never notice when Lee was hurting. 
”Dad….please don’t ask me to do this.  I…I can’t.  Not right now. Maybe not ever.” Lee whispered. 
The admiral stood up and walked to his son. “I’m not asking you Lee….I’m telling you..you need to do this.  WE need you to do this.  We need pilots and you need to teach them.  Without Kara here, you’re the next best person to teach them.” 
”Dad,  I can’t do this.”
The admiral turned and walked away.  “Major” Lee knew that he was going to regret whatever came next.  “Major, this is an order.  You will teach those people and you will start effective immediately.  Report to the training room.” 
Lee stood there in disbelief.  But he did not have the strength to argue.  Not today. 
”Yes…sir!  Permission to leave ….sir!” Lee snapped to his father’s back.
”Permission granted.” The admiral softly said before he heard Lee bolt out of his quarters.  Had me pushed him too far?  Was he asking too much?  No.  No he hadn’t.  This was his son.  He needed to do his job not only for himself  but for the fleet.  He knew what his duty was and he’ll realize later on this was for the best.  At least that’s what the admiral thought.
********************************

Lee felt sick to his stomach as he stood outside the training room.  How could he go in there and face these people when all he wanted to do was crawl into his bed, never to reappear.  He knew there was no turning back though. Not when his fathe….the Admiral had made up his mind.  Lee pushed open the door. 
”Attention on deck” Lee barely blurted out as he entered the room. 
The Nuggets jumped to their feet at attention. 
”As you were” Lee quietly said.
The Nuggets all knew what had happened to Kara.  It’s hard to keep something like that quiet on the ship.  But they were surprised to see Apollo there. They half expected to see Helo or even Hot Dog….but not Apollo.  Many had heard rumors of there being strong feelings between Apollo & Starbuck.  Some had even heard rumors of them getting very intimate.  So to see him standing in front of them, a beaten man, was more than they ever expected. 
”Glad to see you here Sir!  With Capt Thrace gone, it’s good  to see we’ll be in such good hands. ” one of the Nuggets blurted out before realizing his mistake.   “Oh..sorry sir!  I…..I didn’t…” 
This was almost too much for Lee.  Everything was just too much.  But he knew he had to hold it together.  At least until he was away from the Nuggets…away from everyone.
”I was just informed this morning that I would be taking over for Capt Thrace.  I have not had a chance to review any of her training records up til now so I am not sure where you are at this time.”  The room was starting to feel tight.  “I think it best, with all that has happened, that you guys get a day of rest so that I can catch up on the training records.  Report back here at 0800 tomorrow.  ” 
Lee knew this wouldn’t fly with the Admiral.  But he didn’t care. 
”Class dismissed.” Lee barked. 
The Nuggets quickly gathered their stuff and left.  Except for one.  Lee had seen her around before.  She seemed to be so quiet.  Well, compared to Kara, everyone was quiet.  But she seemed…different.
”Sir,” she quietly said,” if you like, I can help you out so you don’t have to go through and read through all the records.  Might give you more time too….to rest.” 
He could tell the sincerity in her voice.  But Lee didn’t want to be around anyone.  Not right now.
”Thank you for your offer Ensign….”
”Ensign Barnes sir!”
”Thank you Ensign Barnes.  I appreciate the offer but I think I can handle it.  Dismissed.”
”Yes sir.” She said and bolted for the door. 
She stopped on the other side and looked back into the room.   She couldn’t help but notice just how lost Apollo seemed.  She’d always been one to admire the Major.  I mean, he was the son of one of the most respected men in the fleet, even before the war.  She remembered hearing stories about him when she was at the Academy.  But that was so long ago.